EP 33- Arrow Tip Tuesday: Love Yourself in the Mirror

I recently watched the above youtube video, of a young girl, Jessica, who  is standing on her bathroom counter, looking into the mirror, and shouting all the things she enjoys about her life. “my whole house is great! I can do anything good….I like my hair! I like my hair cuts! I like my hair ties! I like my pajamas!  I can do anything good!”

It made my heart smile. The video has received over 19 millions views.

What would people think if the video content was the same, except the child was instead, an adult?

My guess is the video would not go viral, understandably, because adults just aren’t as cute. But I believe the behavior would be labeled as childish, self-absorbed, egotistical,  and borderline psycho.

I have a confession: I’m addicted to talking to myself in the mirror. Yes, I am crazy,

but I’d rather be a crazy person who gazes deeply into my own eyes every morning and loves myself, than a crazy person who walks around acting like I’m okay all day, but inside I feel worthless.

It simply feels good. And it feels good to feel good.

There is research up the wazoo about how self-love leads to more happiness, better health decisions, less risk of depression and anxiety, enhanced academic performance, increased problem-solving skills, reduced procrastination…the list goes on (Huffington Post article with scientifically backed benefits here)

I’ve noticed that practicing self-love translates into other areas of my life, including my sport.

I bounce back quicker from an inaccurate pass on a day where my energy feels off, and when I receive criticism. Instead, of swearing at myself and asking what the hell is wrong with me, I send myself some love, and move forward.

Loving ourselves as a child comes naturally, but as we age, it becomes increasingly difficult. We are constantly being influenced by our environment on what is “good” and “bad”, and if we aren’t doing “good” then it’s easy to self-criticize. We have to consciously practice self-love every day or we fall into the comparison trap, and perceive ourselves as inadequate.

Loving myself in the mirror is the single greatest exercise I do to gain confidence.

Our relationship with ourselves is the only one that is guaranteed. We cannot escape the conversations that we have in our own head every day. I don’t know about you, but I personally prefer to talk with kind-hearted souls, rather than bullies.

The Mirror Exercise

1. Look look in the mirror, and stare deep into your eyes. Not in the way you check to make sure your toothpaste isn’t smeared on the sides of your mouth, or that your nose isn’t symmetrical with your lips. But in the way that you would look at the one and only love of your life.

There’s something about looking into your own eyes that forces you to be present and realize that you are a human being who is doing the best they can, just like every other human in this world.

1. Look into your eyes until you feel that you have connected with your true self. You’ll know when you know.

2. Talk to yourself as if you are your best friend. Tell yourself what you love about yourself. I say things like, “I love you. I believe in you. You are the hardest worker I know. I am so proud of you for all you’ve been through. You are a champion. You are the hardest worker I know. Your dreams are coming true.” This is your time to tell yourself what you want to come to fruition, for yourself, and not anyone else.

3. Continue speaking to yourself in the most compassionate, genuine tone, until you feel the way that you want to feel.

4. Repeat this exercise as often as you like (anytime you’re alone with a mirror). I perform it as part ofmy morning routine, after I visualize, make my bed, and move. I find this exercise most effective when I’m feeling low or want to get myself pumped up on life.

This exercise for sure feels bizarre and uncomfortable at first, but I believe you can’t grow without some discomfort. 
If you’re bold enough to try it, let me know what you think. Did you notice a difference in your mood? What kind of things did you say to yourself?

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Video of girl loving herself in the mirror

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EP 30- Arrow Tip Tuesday: Move in the Morning

When I have a killer workout planned, the worst part is hardly ever during the exercise, but rather the anticipation. It’s the mental chatter:  Ughh, this is going to suck, i just want to get this over with…but once the workout begins, even if I’m gasping for air and praying I make it out alive,  the pre-chatter still was the worst part.

The same thing goes for mornings. Mornings have the potential to be the King of mehhhh-like thoughts.

But like workouts, this pre-chatter isn’t serving us.

And when anything is not serving me, I like to nip it in the bud ASAP.

Tony Robbins, a master of the human psyche,  holds seminars to get people amped up on life. I attended one of his speaking events.  Consistently, people leave feeling like they are on top of the world. One of the main ways he gets people  to change their beliefs is through movement. He says that the mind is the weakest part of our body. This is because our brains are programmed to survive, which can cause us to see things as more threatening than they are in reality… like getting out of bed.

Tony explains that the quickest, most effective way to change our internal state is to move. Physical activity changes the biochemistry in your body. It sends endorphins into the brain and regulates your mood.

One of the exercises Tony had the audience do was to celebrate like it was the greatest moment of your life. To get as into it as possible, throw your arms up in the air, hug people, jump up and down. At this event there were thousands of people screaming like little kids and the energy I felt was outrageous.

When you full on celebrate, extending your arms up, this movement opens up your diaphragm and fires off neurotransmitters into your brain that make you happier.

This is why my morning routine always includes some type of movement.

In episode 27, I detailed the first part of my morning routine, in which I visualize while half-asleep. After this visualization, I get my move on!

My Morning Movement

I stretch out my entire body and yell a positive statement to myself like “let’s goooo kendall, today’s about to be a beautiful day, I love you!!” I’m 110% fully aware that this sounds cheeseball with extra swiss, cheddar and mozzarella, but it works for me. When I yell, rather than whisper, these affirmations radically alter my sleepy state and make me feel more alert. I then get out of bed, and do some sort of exercise.

Moving is powerful stuff. As athletes, there’s a reason we all love moving. It makes us feel good.  I love moving, as long as it’s not the beep test, or a run exceeding 10 miles, or burpees, or hills or…. just kidding, sort of.

But my movement in the morning, takes less than 5 minutes,  and it without fail gets me juiced up.

Prior to my concussion, I had a routine in which I would do 20 push-ups and a one minute plank each way.

But the movement doesn’t even have to be that extreme. I now take a more gentler approach to wake up my body, I begin with some neck and back stretches, and then I finish with whatever movement I’m feeling lunge squats, jumping in the air Tony Robbins style…I do it until my heart rate is elevated my breath quickens, and my body warms.

Then after that, I’m in a way more lively state and ready to seize the day.

I recommend experimenting with what movement works for you. You may like to ease into it with yoga or just get down and dirty. If you want,  try my push-up plank series. The first week I started this program I did 10 push-ups, and then a 30 second plank each way. Each week I added 1 push up and 5 extra seconds to each plank, until I worked my way up to 20 push-ups and 1 minute plank each way.

This would get me Ronda Rousey-fired up to start my day.

Except that I don’t have any desire to beat girls up. I prefer to throw hugs and not punches.  That’s just me.

If you try out my plank/push-up series let me know how you like it! Do you have a morning movement routine? Do you have any suggestions on how I can improve mine?

Let me know!

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EP 27- Arrow Tip Tuesday: Visualize Your Day (while half-asleep)

It’s the championship game. Pouring down rain. Tie ball game. The clock is ticking down, with one minute to spare. The ball is passed to you. This is your chance. The moment you’ve dreamed of your entire life. You wind up to take the shot and ……..ring!!!! You’re alarm goes off, waking you from your slumber.

Not only did you miss out on your chance for glory, but now you’re groggy, and pissed, and the last thing you want do is leave your warm covers.

In EP 22-Arrow Tip Tuesday: Create A Morning Ritual,  I talk about how snoozing your alarm is kind of life telling yourself the day isn’t worth waking up for.  I’ve been trying out a new technique lately, that allows for extra bed time.

In my past morning routine,  I immediately hopped out of bed and pounded out twenty push ups, and a one minute plank on my sides, and face-down. That strategy was effective in jolting me awake. But, since my concussion, I’ve transitioned into a more gentle approach.

Instead of bouncing right out of bed, I take the opportunity to capitalize on my half-asleep state and visualize. Most often I’ll wake up before my alarm goes off.  And immediately upon awakening, I’ll visualize exactly how I want my day to go.

I have this theory that this comatose state  is magical and allows me to tap into my soul. After doing some research, I think I’m onto something.

Why visualize?

In all my interviews, nearly every person thus far has mentioned that they practice visualization. Jacqueline Wiles  visualizes her ski race, Michelle Betos visualizes right when she wakes up, Emily Menges and Katherine Reynolds visualize before arriving to games.

Visualization is powerful for athletes because when you imagine an activity, you are using the same pathways in your brain that are used when you actually perform that action. So, it’s as if you are doing an actual reputation, further ingraining the skill into your brain.

Why visualize half-asleep?

Visualization is extra beneficial right when you wake up, because you are in a deeper brain wave state.

Brain waves are electrical pulses from masses of neurons that communicate with each other.

Delta-waves occur when we are in deep restorative sleep.

Theta-waves occur in lighter sleep, and deep meditation.

Alpha-waves occur when we are present, in a resting state.

Beta-waves occur when we are awake, alert, thinking rationally.

When you visualize upon awakening,  you will often be able to penetrate deeper into your subconscious, causing the images to stick more.

What do I visualize?

When I visualize in the morning, I lay down on my back, shut my eyes, and imagine exactly how I want my day to go.  

I make sure to get as detailed as possible and make myself feel exactly how I want to feel. Visualizations are the way you want to feel, they maximize your experience because the brain learns and retains information better with emotions.

I imagine the immense energy I feel when I pop out of bed, the music that will be playing when I walk into the the locker room, my body moving effortlessly at training, performing my neck stretches cooling down…all the way to how I want to feel when I get to bed.

I often visualize something going wrong in my day. I do this to train my mind to not be shaken if I encounter an unanticipated challenge during my day. This prepares me to get myself back into a clear space.

Sometimes I’ll top the visualization off with a something I want to happen in my life-like blasting that game-winning goal that my alarm so rudely interrupted me from.

This usually takes me 10 minutes.

Then I hop out of bed, make my bed and resume the rest of my morning routine which I’ll talk about in future episodes.

For the scientific benefits of visualization check out this article: 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-science-of-visualizat_b_171340.htmlhttp:

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EP 25- Arrow Tip Tuesday: Why Making your Bed Changes the World

I never used to understand people who made their bed. Why bother taking the time when you are going to be getting back in and making it messy at the end of the day anyways?

As I mentioned in episode 17 in the article I wrote, Throwing Away 9 Trash Bags of Clothes Changed my Life, I am inherently a slob and tend to be suspicious of those whose living space smell of Windex and resembles a vacated crime scene. .

What are they trying to hide??

But, awhile back I read a quote from Commander Navy Seal, William H Mcraven, that peaked my feathers.

“If you want to to change the world, start off by making your bed. If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do one task and then another. And by the end of the day that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed and It will reinforce the idea that the little things in life matter.”

Ohhh snapp. Did he just equate making your bed with changing the world??

I’m down to change the world, so I figured it was worth a shot.

I did. And now I always, always, always make my bed. Here’s why:

Charles Duhigg, author of bestseller The Power of Habit, calls this kind of habit, a “keystone habit” because it creates a positive change that will then set in motion your ability to perform other good behaviors.

Once I make my bed, it symbolizes that my day is starting, and it is my first opportunity to demonstrate that I am taking control of my day.

There are so many uncertainties in life. Even if you begin the day with the best intentions, things can go sideways fast.

You could slip on a banana peel on the way to training, get side swiped in your car,  yelled at by your coach, miss the game-winning shot…. the possibilities are endless.

But, no matter how crappy your day is, when you come home and all you want to do is sleep, you will see that at the very least you made your bed. Not all is lost.

It’s such a small habit, but  I am learning that I am a highly visual person. If I see a distraction in the my outer life, I’m going to feel off internally. So making my bed is one action I can take to help me reduce that stress.

Also, think about when you stay at a hotel. When I am traveling with my team and enter my hotel room, I get giddy when I see the bed covers are tucked in crispier than a newly minted dollar bill.  Sometimes I do think the covers are so snug they make me feel like I’m going going to lose circulation, however that’s just a personal preference. The beauty about making your own bed, is you call the shots.

If you’re a science-based person, a recent study showed  “71 percent of bed makers consider themselves happy, while 62 percent of non-bed-makers admit to being unhappy. Bed makers are also more likely to enjoy their jobs, own a home, exercise regularly, and feel well rested, whereas non-bed-makers hate their jobs, rent apartments, avoid the gym, and wake up tired.”

There’s something to be said about making beds.

Arrow Tip: Make your bed

If you still feel you are too lazy to make your bed, then here’s a video on how to make your bed while you are still in it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nD8y1kRpMqw

No excuses to at least try it! if you don’t like it, you can go back to crumpled sheets.

Do you make your bed? Does it make you feel as happy as me? Let me know in the comments

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EP 22- Arrow Tip Tuesday: Create A Morning Ritual

Morning people. My college self just threw up in my mouth a little bit. As a teenager, if I had to wake up before my body felt ready, the entire world was dead to me. I walked around with a blank stare, wishing that a UFO would fly down, lasso every human who attempted to talk to me, and transport them to Mars, until I woke up on my own terms.

Legitimately, if someone greeted me with a “hi, good morning!” I’d think how dare you have the audacity to say such a thing to me before 10am.

But then, after college, I read an article by this dude name Hal Elrod. He mentioned that the single biggest contributor to his success in life was having a morning routine.

What?? Is this guy for real?

He brought up an idea, that rattled my morning-hating 10x snooze-button hitting self.

He said that every time you wake up, and hit the snooze button, you’re essentially, saying “I hate getting up, so let me do it over and over and over again.”

Wow. Truth. I am voluntarily re-living the most unenjoyable part of my day.

Since then, I’ve researched highly impactful athletes and people in this world, and have noticed that the majority of them all have some variation of a consistent morning ritual.

And it makes sense. Our days are filled with uncontrollable factors.  Once our day gets rolling, it’s so easy to get caught up being reactive. We get a text from a friend, we show up to training and our coach tells us what to do, we respond to all our piled up emails ..…by the end of the day, it can leave us feeling drained as if we never took time to ourself.

But the start of the day, is something we can always control. In implementing a morning ritual, we are able to start the day on our own terms. It’s an opportunity to show ourselves that we value our well-being and are in control of our lives. Once you find a ritual that feels good to you, it allows you to start the day off feeling alive, and excited to crush the rest of your day.

For the past four years, I’ve been tweaking my own routine, and have developed one that get’s me feeling like I’m Cinderella and that Prince Charming just returned my glass slipper.

Throughout the next few weeks, I’m going to walk you through my exact morning ritual that gets me into this enlightened state. Every one is different, but there’s a few main components that I believe will set you up for your day, and at the very least, make you not want to hit snooze, or hit anyone who tries to say “good morning!” to you before you’re fully ready.

Arrow Tip: Create A Morning Ritual

Specific details to follow in the future

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EP 19- Arrow Tip Tuesday: Find an Accountablity Partner

Accountability partners for goals are what butter is to coffee, or what collagen is to bone broth or, what cacao nibs are to goat yogurt…you know what I’m saying?? Okay maybe not, if you aren’t as fond of these concoctions as I am. But for real, accountability partners are the bees knees.

An accountability partner is someone you join forces with to hold one another responsible for your respective intentions.

(Side note: In the past, the term  “goals”  have signified too much rigidity, as I tended to put too much focus on the end result. I like to use the word “intentions”, because it reminds me that the end results are something to aspire to, but they do not define me. It allows me to fully enjoy the process. That’s just my preference, but you can use whatever word you want: goal, intention, result, outcome etc.)

This past offseason, Arrow Liver, professional goalkeeper, and diving-header goal legend Michelle Betos  and I were accountability buddies. Each week, we emailed each other what went well in our training, and what we wanted to improve the following week.  We chose tasks that we typically struggled to complete on our own, and just needed a little extra push.   

One week, my focus was to get back in to the habit of documenting and reflecting upon all of my workouts. Another week, Michelle wanted to improve her ball striking technique. That week, she sent me a text of her foot taped up. Most humans, tape their ankle if it’s injured, but Michelle’s ligaments were fully intact. She taped her foot  in order to recondition her brain to strike the ball with her foot in that specific position. That’s Michelle Betos for you. If you haven’t listened to her full podcast , that’s not the craziest thing she’s done to improve her game.  

A few weeks after we started this accountability thread, I saw an incredible stat:

A study conducted at Dominican University of California showed that people who wrote down their intentions, shared with a friend, and sent weekly updates to that friend were on average 33% more successful in accomplishing their stated intentions than if they were to keep them to themselves.

Woahhhh. That’s a ⅓  greater likelihood of crushing your dreams!!

Accountability partners are effective because when you tell someone else your intentions, they become more than just about you. This person serves as a greater reason to follow through on the action. Also, this gives you someone who is supportive of you and equally invested in pursuing their own visions. Plus, even if your desired outcomes are different, it’s way more fun to salsa dance together to your dreams.

Arrow Tip:  Find an Accountability Partner

1. Find a mate you trust, who will keep you honest, and agrees to be your accountability partner

2. Converse about your intentions and the actions you want to take to meet them

3. Set-up the specific actions you will take, and create general timeline for when you will accomplish them 

4. Check in with each other once a week, in person, via text, email, phone etc.

5. Celebrate the progress! Fist bump each other each time you make a gain.

Do you have an accountability partner? Have they helped you make moves in life? Let me know!

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EP 16- Arrow Tip Tuesday: How To Bounce Back After A Bad Game

Last week I played in my first game at Providence Park since my concussion. It was just a preseason game, bt I had been waiting 18 months for that moment. Last year, I watched our games up in our team suite. I had to wear earplugs because the noise of the crowd gave me a throbbing headache. Also, tracking my teammates zig-zagging runs invoked neck tension and nausea. By the end of the games, I felt over-stimulated, as if I’d actually participated in the match myself.

My first game playing on Providence Park was a big milestone. I trotted onto the field, feeling a tidal wave of adrenaline and gratitude. Holy crap we out here doin this thanggg! That ecstasy lasted for about 10 seconds, then I was submersed into the game.

35 minutes later, the whistle blew and the game was over.

Our team won. I played my first minutes since my concussion. Yet, instead of being happy, I was swallowing back tears.  A rational minded human would think that coming back from an 18 month injury is an incredible feat. But as a lifelong competitive athlete, my performance, in my mind, wasn’t good enough.

I know this is a common theme amongst athletes. We tend to be so hard on ourselves. Our mind instantly re-traces all the things we did wrong, and those feelings of frustration pile up until we think that our life is over as we know it.

But if we take a step back, and allow ourselves to really feel and process everything we realize that:

1. bad games are inevitable

2. we most often think we played a lot worse than we did.

3. even if you really suck it up, excessively drowning in our sorrows is not beneficial

Arrow Tip: How to Bounce Back after a Bad Game

Here’s 6 questions to ask after a “bad” game to get yourself back into a happy place. The key throughout all of this is to play the role of an observant, non-judgmental scientist. Take your time with each question.

1. What do I feel?

Allow yourself to feel your frustration/sadness/embarrassment and express what didn’t go well for you. I went home, screamed a few times. Kicked my legs like a needy child. And then I worded why I was frustrated…”I am pissed because I blew it. I sucked. My lungs felt like they were going to collapse, my body felt like jello , I slipped on the ball, I dove in on a tackle… Be as real as possible. Curse, punch pillows, scream…do what you gotta do, and take as long as you need, to flush out all the feelings.

1. What are my beliefs behind this feeling?

In my case:

–That was my one chance to show that I deserve to be here

-My energy sucked, I am never going to be in good enough shape to play

-My coach is going to think I suck and now I’m never going to play

-I am not a good soccer player and don’t deserve to be on this team

-to be frustrated, I have to play a game and it doesn’t go well.

1. Do I need to believe these thoughts? (Hint: The answer is always No)

1. What can I believe instead that will allow me to feel at peace with my performance?

Go through each belief, and replace it with a new beneficial belief.

In my case, I reframed:

-Bad games are an opportunity to expose weaknesses and grow

-The only way for me to be frustrated is to play a game, and not learn from it

-The fact that I’m frustrated is a good thing. It shows how much I care about my sport…it’s a good thing

-I can use this frustration as motivation, to highlight areas of improvement, and  further hone in on my craft and ball out even more

-the past does not equal the future, just because I had one bad game does not mean I have to feel frustrated

1. What went well for me in my game?

In my case:

-I played my first game back in 18 months

-I am still breathing

-my team won

-I made several clean passes

-I headed two balls without any symptoms

-I did not actually collapse a lung

This allows us to see that we were likely over-reacting, and might simply need to take a chill pill.  In our roughest games, there is always something to be grateful for. Even if it’s as simple as making through the game alive!

1.  What steps can I take to improve next game?  

Come up with a few intentions you can make to continue growing as a player.  For instance, anytime I make an error on the field, I now quickly say to myself “I love myself, onto the next one.”  Yes it’s cheesy. Yes, I actually repeat that to myself. Yes, it works wonders.

The plan can be more action oriented, as well. Examples: show up to training 20 minutes early to work on passing technique, visualize 10 minutes of defending before bed, meet with conditioning coach and put together a fitness program.

I ask myself these questions every time I have a “poor” performance,  whether it’s in a game, a training, or any area in my life. It’s a great tool, to get yourself back and motivated to be your best self. The worst thing we can do is dwell on our mistakes. We all have bad games. We all have bad days. Some of us have bad breath. There’s badness all around. But when we embrace the badness, and use it as an opportunity for growths, that’s when we reach the greatness within. And ball out.
Do you have a certain way you cope with bad games? Let me know in the comments!

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If you haven’t already, I would be so very grateful if you rated and left me a review of the podcast. It takes two minutes! Here’s what to do.

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3. Click the “ratings and reviews” tab

4. Click “write a review” and show me love <3

Resources

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Click HERE for a list of the 10 books I believe ever female athlete MUST read.

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EP 13- Arrow Tip Tuesday: STOP, Collaborate, and Meditation

Arrow Tip: STOP, Collaborate, and Meditation

As athletes, our competitive drive often  trickles into other avenues of our lives. Like driving down avenues For me, whenever I used to go anywhere, I needed to get there pronto without any delays. I had zero patience for traffic and red lights were poison in my blood.

When I drive places. I always leave with just enough time to account for typical traffic, with a little buffer for unforeseen circumstances. It’s a habit, I’ve mentioned before in my blog post, The Day I Single Handedly Delayed my Flight to Australia.  I have this uncanny ability to arrive at places with seconds to spare. I’m not often late, but I show up just in the knick of time. On my journey to play overseas in Australia. I was in the wrong terminal, my flight was taking off in 30 minutes, and my savior Karina came to the rescue,  held my hand through airport security, as we weaved in and out of the crowd, and made it to fight by nothing short of a miracle.

I have that unique timeliness on a more low key level with driving.  I leave with just enough time to get me to my destination.

It’s mostly well worked for me time-wise, but sometimes it’s a recipe for emotional disaster.

For instance, I’ll be cruising to training and hit a red light. My mind reacts:

Squirrel poop! Squirrel poop? How on earth you think of squirrel poop, Kendall? On a serious note, where do squirrels poop? Why do we never see squirrel poop?

My sporadic, and intelligent inquiry, softens the blow of the first red light. But the second unanticipated red light… that’s when the internal sirens signal.  I get antsy.  As if there are literal fire ants crawling around and pinching the inside my gut.

Did I allow myself enough time to get there? Am I going to be late? Kendall you always do this, leave earlier next time!!

On green, I rev up my engine to make up a few seconds. But then I hit another red, and my face turns the shade of the light.

I hate being late. I care about peoples time. I want to show responsibility and respect others time and myself. Dang it Kendall!

Every time I hit a red light, or traffic, the ants inside of me make babies, intensifying the discomfort.

Of course, I somehow make it right on time, but with unnecessary uneasiness inside of me.

But, I’ve found a trick that have bug-sprayed the discomfort inside of me. And it’s not leaving earlier, because that would be too easy. Plus,I’m a rebel and like to live on the edge.

When we see red lights, we are conditioned to stop because we’re consciously aware that if we don’t stop, we risk harming others or ourselves, and potentially receive a ticket. We obey the red light because it’s easier than dealing with the consequences of running it.

But just as we train a dog to pee outside, I have retrained myself to view red lights to what I deem, the STOP, Collaborate and Meditation Method.

Instead of viewing red lights as the devil. I see them as resembling loving kindness, hearts, autumn leaves, Clifford the Big Red Dog, bell peppers…and all the other beautiful things in life that are red. Most importantly, I see it as an opportunity to take time for myself. Every time I hit a red light now, I connect to myself. I take a few deep breaths, and refocus my attention on the present and all the things I have to be grateful for.

It’s such a great tool for those who feel they are always going pedal to the metal in all areas of their life. Now, red lights are magic. You deserve time to yourself.

Arrow Tip: Whenever you hit a red light, think of all the things that are the color red that make you happy. Then take three deep breaths and thank the red light for allowing you to take time for yourself.

Then on green, rev up the engine to make up the time you lost. Just kidding, don’t do that. Or do. Baby steps.

Do have little patience for traffic? If so, how do you deal with it? Let me know in the comments.

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EP 11- Arrow Tip Tuesday: Find Your Entourage

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Arrow Tip: Find your Entourage 

I’d be willing to bet you 20 chunky monkey Ben and Jerry’s ice cream pints that if I walk into a girl’s high school soccer team post-game dinner, 80% of the girls will be wearing sweat pants, a hoodie-likely grey-and some form of slip on sandals. And their hair would be pulled up in a messy bun. Or a pony tail.

I’ll double down and bet another 20 pints, that if I walked into a vinyasa yoga class, 90% of women would be wearing leggings and a tank top.

Neither of these are bad things. I am still a wearer of both wardrobes, but why is this so true?

I read this quote a few years ago that helps explain why we are so alike to our peers and friends:

“You are the average of the 5 people you hang out with most” -Jim Rohn

Growing up, I never gave much thought about the people I hung out with. If they liked to swing on the monkey bars and play foursquare with me at recess, then we were best friends. As I aged, I made friends mostly through athletics.

My whole life I have been fortunate to be surrounded by a supportive family, and teammate’s who have been equally driven to improve. They undoubtedly played a huge factor in getting me to where I am today. In soccer, every time I reached a higher level, I was surrounded by an even more determined group of girls whom would challenge me to grow my game.

This idea of being the average of the 5 people you hang out with most, may seem oversimplified, but think about the 5 people you hang out with the most.  Do you have similar values and habits as them? Do you wear similar clothes?

You are of course your own unique self, but research continually shows the immense affect people have on our way of thinking, our self-esteem and our decisions.

A lot of times, we are affected at a subconscious level and don’t even realize people’s influence.

Wearing the same clothes as your friend is a superficial example, but our thoughts and actions are also heavily influenced by others too. If you hang around people who are always putting other people down, eating burger king, and watching tv all day, you’ll likely, often subconsciously, pick up similar habits. Similarly, if you’re around people who are working hard, showing you love, and filling you up, you’ll be propelled to be the same.

That’s why it’s crucial to surround yourself with people who support you and believe in you. Find people who have dreams of your caliber or greater. People who are doing what you want to be doing. People who are highly motivated and determined to be their best selves. They may have a different aspirations than you, but when they share that same underlying passion and drive, you will feel it. And then you’ll vibe off of one another’s vibes.

You may realize that there’s certain people in your life who always bring you down. Whether they make you guilty for not hanging out with them or are need or maybe they just aren’t evolving at the same rate as you.

One of the most difficult things in life is the feeling of guilt that comes from letting these people go, or even just changing the dynamic of certain relationships. But if you know who you are, and want to become, and you know deep down it’s what you need to do, trust that feeling.

Be grateful for the purpose they served in your life, and move on with no regrets.

Arrow Tip: Find Your Entourage

• Note the 5 people you surround yourself with most. Are these people who you are helping you grow? Are these people challenging you, raising your average, helping you become you want to become? If yes, heck ya!!! If not, who are people you look up to? Who do you know or want to befriend that will help you become a better athlete and person? If you have to, weasel your way into that friend group

As I learned in Girl Scouts back in the day, “Make new friends and keep the old, some are silver and the other gold.”

Is it Girl Scout cookie season yet?

Below is a great in-depth article about this topic. It provides an excellent hand-on exercise to help you discover the type of person you want to be and the people you can surround yourself with to help assist this process.

http://personalexcellence.co/blog/average-of-5-people/

08-Arrow Tip Tuesday: Plan Tomorrow Tonight

Arrow Tip: Plan Tomorrow Tonight 

Do you ever have those days when you are driving home after an exhausting day,  your workout kicked your butt, and you’ve been running a million miles per hour from one thing to the next? And all you can think about is how you are excited to get in bed and pass out.

Maybe like 7 nights a week?

That happens to me often, but it was an even more common occurrence in college.  I would get home,  brush my teeth, slip on my glow-in-the-dark retainers, snuggle into my covers, shut my eyes with giddiness so stoked to dream about puppies and scoring goals and chipotle, and then, all of a sudden, a little thought would pop into my head about tomorrow….

“I have to train. Then I have study. And go to the grocery store. I want to make almond milk. But  I have to Youtube how to make almond milk, because last time I attempted to do it myself, it tasted like soggy, nutty socks. And then I need to go to my physical therapy appointment, and call my grandma. I want to see my dog. I haven’t seen Jake in forever. I miss him. I bet he misses me.  But will I have time see him before I coach? And I have that family dinner. Ahh and I still haven’t sent my 10 month over-due birthday thank you letters…”

That one thought would lead to a cascade of other thoughts, and the realization that my day tomorrow is going to be even busier than today. And from that point, I would activate high-alert mode, feel very overwhelmed, rendering it nearly impossible to fall asleep   But, I found a super simple action that I’ve been using for years now that dramatically reduce this stress.

Before hitting the hay,  I take 5-10 minutes to plan out my day in detail,  hour by hour.

I Schedule my obligations first (i.e work, assignments, training, appointments…). I like to prioritize 3 things to get done after that.

I often find that if I plan strategically, and specifically by the hour, that there is time in the day to get a lot more done than I think. There are days when I don’t have time to search “how to make almond milk”, but with this knowledge, I can reschedule it for another day, and not stress about it at night.

This scheduling may sound rigid, but I believe it’s the opposite. When you schedule your day, you have a clear set of intentions for the day, you know what you need to do, and  it free up a ton of mental space so you can be fully present when throughout your day’s workout and other activities.

A lot times if we don’t have a schedule, we are constantly responding to everyone else needs, and disregarding our own. When you decide what you are going to do, that gives you back control.

A big benefit of scheduling the night before is that once you fall asleep, all night long your subconscious mind works on how to make these intentions happen. It pulls up past memories and comes up with creative possibilities to help prime your brain to get your intentions done for that next day.

Planning my days has been a real savior. It allows me to live each day with presence and reduces unnecessary nighttime mind-wandering. Now, when I climb into bed, I confidently whisper to myself “Night, night Kendall, sleep tight, don’t let the stress bugs bite.”

Have you tried planning your night before? Did you find it beneficial?

Let me know in the comments!

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Ep 05-Arrow Tip Tuesday:Take An Inner Bath

Welcome to the Arrow Tip Tuesday series! Every Tuesday, I provide a simple, actionable tip that you can apply to enhance your athletic endeavors and life.

Today’s Arrow Tip: Bathe Your Insides 

Have you ever stood next to someone at the gym who sprayed copious amounts of cologne or perfume on their body in an attempt to mask their odor? It’s not a pleasant sensory experience. To avoid being THAT person, most of us have developed a habit of showering. We understand that properly washing our bodies is a necessary component to our hygiene. Yet, we give so much attention to our extremities when in actuality our insides are the real MVP’s.

Properly functioning internal organs, muscles, bones, and cells are what allow us to perform every single one of our daily actions. When we sleep, our body enters metabolic maintenance mode and moves waste out of our system. Upon waking, this junk is still floating around in our system. We are also dehydrated. When we are lacking high quality hydration, our circulation starts to thin out and our blood gets congested leading to headaches and low energy.

 Drinking water right when we wake up flushes out those toxins and allow us to regain hydration. It’s such a simple way to kickstart your day and will leave you feeling revitalized and ready to Arrow Live it up.

Arrow Tip: Before hitting the hay, set a tall glass of water (24-32  ounces is clutch) near your bed. If you’re feeling fancy, spice it up with some lemon or fresh mint leaves. Then sip on that upon awaking.  Shawn Stevenson, from The Model Health Show Podcast (great podcast if you’re into health and fitness) calls this habit taking an “inner bath.”

Try it out and let me know what you think in the comments!

p.s  although I believe inner baths are superior to external cleansing, I (and your peers) still recommend showering every once in a while. But if you chose not to, that’s totally cool too. No judgements here. You do you.

Share the love

If you haven’t already, I would be so very grateful if you rated and left me a review of the podcast. It takes two minutes! Here’s what to do.

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4. Click “write a review” and show me love <3

Resources

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Click HERE for a list of the 10 books I believe ever female athlete MUST read.

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